Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends
by DetroitRockCity
Summary: This is a fic about the different members of the zodiac and friends and their embarrassing moments. Shigure's up to bat now.
1. Default Chapter

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Chapter one: Tohru's Aunt Visits

Disclaimer: I do not own fruits basket and never will. Damn people. Don't know how to share.

This is going to be a Fic about different members of the Sohma family and their most embarrassing moments. This should be fun.

Tohru gets a visit from aunt flow and see what happens.

Here it was again. That time of the month. Poor, poor Tohru. In a house full of guys and her aunt flow was visiting. She didn't know it would be a problem until she went into the bathroom and found she had one pad and two Pearl tampons left.

"Oh no!" She cried quietly. "I have to go to the store!" She quickly took care of business and walked out in a pair of cargo's and a cami with another tank top over it. She ran into her room and grabbed her purse. Unfortunately before she could get out she was stopped by a hungry mob of men. Okay just the usual three, but ya know what they're like wen they're hungry.

"My dear sweet flower is going to leave us again! We shall starve!" An overly dramatic Shigure called from the dining room.

"Oh my! I did forget to make breakfast! I'm so sorry! Let me go get that right now." She ran into the kitchen and whipped up a quick breakfast. She served it quick and they ate. When they were done she threw the dishes in the sink and tried to get out the door again.

"Miss Honda, where are you going?" Yuki asked seeing her hurrying outside.

"I just need to go to the store. We're short on Ramen noodles." She babbled quickly.

"Oh well let me come and help you carry the bags." He offered.

"Oh no, that's quite alright." She tried to make him change his mind. "It's just one or two bags. I can manage by myself!" She cried.

"If that damn rat is going then I'm coming too." Kyo stated coming into the hall.

"Well...I...Uh..." Seeing she was at a loss she agreed. "Alright."

"Why is it a family outing?" Shigure asked popping in the door. "If so then I demand to come." He said taking a fatherly figure.

Tohru knowing she couldn't say no to him said. "We're just going to the store. I needed a few things." She explained. "We're not going anywhere special. If you want you can come nothing special."

"Well I too, want to help. Knowing you we'll end up with quite a few bags." He stated.

Blushing she shook her head yes and they departed. She was writing out a list of things that they could get so when they got to the store she could run off and buy her item and they could get the rest.

"Alright. I've made a list that we need to get. Here's your list." She handed them the list. "And I've got mine." She waved the little pad of paper.

"Okay. We'll see you in an hour or o." Yuki said and they headed off for the vegetable isle.

Tohru sweat dropped and headed off for the ladies section. On her way there someone called her name.

"Toh-ru! Hey Toh-ru!" Momiji called running up to her. "What are ya doing here?" He asked.

"Obviously she's shopping." Hatori replied for her walking up behind the energetic bunny.

Her eyes grew wide when she saw him. "Yeah I'm shopping. Yuki, Kyo and Shigure are over getting some other things." She said hoping they would go over to them.

"Well I guess I should go over and see if Shigure is behaving. Come on Momiji." Hatori said.

"But I wanna stay with Tohru!" he cried.

"Alright, but if she says you have to go then you must come find me." He says and walks away, leaving a reddish Tohru with a jumpy bunny.

"So Tohru what are we getting?" He asks jumping.

"Well I have to go get some girl things." She replied

"I can help!" He said pumping his fist in the air.

They walked off towards the isle and Tohru hurriedly went in and tried to find what she was looking for. Once she got them she walked back out with the Pads and Tampons in hr basket. Momiji saw these and wondered what they were. So he asked.

"Hey Tohru, what are these?" He asked picking up the Tampon box.

"Uh, um, they're mine." She said. "Maybe later you can ask Hatori." She said not thinking much.

"Okay." He said while she pays for her things.

They head back out into the store and meet up with Yuki, Kyo, Shigure and Hatori.

"Hey. Are you guys ready to go?" Tohru asks.

"Yep we got everything." Kyo said hurrying to the counter.

"Hey Hatori." Momiji reaches inside Tohru's bag and pulls out the tampons. "What are these?"

Tohru's face flames, Yuki and Kyo look confused, Shigure starts laughing and Hatori looks sympathetically at Tohru.

"Uh, it's um." Hatori tried to say.

Momiji opens the box and pulls out the directions. He reads them over and then gets a look of horror on his face. He passes the direction over to Kyo and Yuki and they read it. They look up at her and then over to the box in Momiji's hand then to Tohru.

"Uh." Was all she could say.

She grabbed the directions from Kyo, the box from Momiji and ran home. She swung in the door and went to the bathroom. She finished and ran up to her room and cried her eyes out. She heard the others come in the door and she just ignored them. She sat in her room for hours and just was there. She was too embarrassed to do anything.

"Tohru? Dinner's ready if you're hungry." Shigure called up the stairs around six. All he got was a muffled sob. "Okay, I'll leave some for you to eat later." He walked away and felt bad for the poor girl.

She sat in her room all night and finally fell asleep.

SCHOOL

"Hey, Tohru. How was your weekend?" Hana asked doming up to her the next morning.

"I had an accident." She replied embarrassed.

"Accident? Did Carrot-top hurt you?" Uo said coming closer.

"No." Tohru answered and pulled out a Tampon to explain.

"Oh. You poor, poor girl." Hana said hugging her.

"Did they say something to you?" Uo said getting angry again.

"No they didn't know until they read the directions." She sobbed out what happened at the super market.

"My, my. Curiosity killed the cat." Hana said helping Tohru up and leading her away to the classroom.

They sat down in the back and sat through class and the lectures. At the end of the morning Tohru, Uo and Hana all went off to lunch. Yuki and Kyo spotted her and had a small debate.

"Do you think we should sit with her? She might want to be left alone." Kyo asked uncertainly.

"We can't abandon her. Besides if I don't sit with her The Fan Club will swarm. And that's just plain scary." He said shivering.

"Alright, but if she wants us to leave we will."

"Don't tell me what to do, stupid cat."

"Damn rat."

They went over and joined Tohru for lunch. She smiled at them and they had a pleasant lunch together. Forgetting all about yesterday.


	2. Yuki and His Manly Problems

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Chapter Two: Yuki and the Manly Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and never will. Although I wouldn't mind.................

Yuki gets a visitor that can be as humiliating as Tohru's Aunt.

Yuki gets up and realizes his PJ's are a little wet. He sits up confused and looks down. Yes that's right. Teenage hormones invaded his no-longer-dry, dreams. Poor Yuki. He got up and quickly got dressed. He took the sheets and ran down the stairs with them. Bumping into a dusting Tohru on the way.

"Oh Yuki, I didn't see you. I'm sorry." She replied. "Oh do you want me to wash those for you?" She questioned getting a glimpse of the sheets in his hand.

"Oh, no that's quite alright Miss Honda. I can do it myself."

He hurried past a confused Tohru and into the washroom. He put the sheets in and turned the water on. After that he walked out and sat down to breakfast. He ate heartily and forgot all about the morning's activities.

"Come on you damn rat. We're going to be late." Kyo called to Yuki as they walked to school.

"Shut up, stupid cat." He replied.

When they got to school fan girls surrounded him. They flocked him and started badgering him about the trip to the beach they were taking tomorrow, (It was Friday). School trip and all. He just said he might go.

"Alright class. As you know tomorrow we are going to the beach and we will be riding a charter bus since it is 3 hours away. You need to be here at 6 so we can get going early."

"Yuki groaned inwardly. He hated mornings. He sat and paid attention to the teacher as she droned on about some stupid thing for math.

(SKIP TO TOMORROW)

Yuki wakes up t a slight dampness that seemed oh too familiar. He groaned and recalled his dream. To say the least it had a very shortly dressed Tohru in it.

"Why does this keep happening to me? Why not that damn cat?" he asked himself gathering his sheets up. He took them to the washer and began the spin cycle.

He ate breakfast and put on his swim trunks and a shirt. He came out of his room to find a Tohru in shorts and a tank top. Kyo was wearing his swim trunks and a wife-beater. Shigure was also wearing swim trunks and a shirt.

"Shigure, why are you wearing a bathing suit?" Yuki asked confused.

"Oh, why I am one of the chaperone's." He replied casually.

"Oh god." Yuki replied and stepped out the door.

They all walked to school and saw Momiji, Haru, Hana, Uo and Hatori. They were all wearing bathing suits. Hatori was Shigure's chaperone. Yuki groaned and got on the bus. This was not his day.

They drove forever and the bus ride seems best not mentioned. It was a little, well, let's just say that Shigure and a bus full of high school girls who think he's cute do not bode well. Poor, poor Yuki, all alone, sort of.

"So ready to spend some time in the sun?" Tohru asked when they got off the bus.

"Yeah. I guess." Yuki replied knowing his fan girls would not leave the alone.

"You don't sound very happy. Is there something wrong with Yuki-kun?" Tohru asked worried.

"No nothing is wrong." HE said with a slight smile.

They walked over to Hana, Uo and Kyo. Everyone set up their blankets and then it was time to take off the clothes and reveal their bathing suits. Kyo took off his shirt and just threw it in his gym bag. Uo undid her sarong and placed it neatly in her beach bag. She striped off her shirt and put that in her bag as well. Her almost tan body shone threw her two-piece and her slightly toned limbs glimmered and all men stopped to stare for a few seconds. She glared and they retreated. Hana rolled her eyes and peeled off her overdress, which was black, and revealed a tankini, also black. Yuki winced and took off his shirt to reveal abs and a nice set of biceps. His light blue shorts matched his pale skin almost perfectly. Fan girls all over had to hold each other back so they wouldn't hurt him. His body, to them, was dazzling. He grinned inwardly when Tohru looked at him and he looked back. She was still in her clothes.

"Come on Tohru, I want to swim." Uo said to her.

"Oh right. Just a second." She called over her shoulder. She seemed no to want everyone to see her in her suit.

"Is Tohru feeling self conscious?" Hana asked stepping up to her.

"A little." She admitted blushing.

"It's alright Tohru. No one will care. Everyone doesn't like being seen in a bathing suit.

"Okay." She replied and gingerly stepped out of her clothes. Her bathing suit was a two-piece. The top was shaped like a sports bra and it was purple with a white stripe under the arm. The bottoms were bikini shaped, but they weren't tie. The bottoms were purple and had a white stripe on the hips. Like what Nike does. Her skin was a little pale, wasn't like Yuki's or Hana's.

"Alright! Now let's get going." Uo yelled already racing to the water.

"Coming!" Tohru yelled. She didn't notice al Sohma's watching her running towards the water.

Shigure was amazed at how his little flower could look so good in such a small out fit. Hatori had to do a double take when she stripped. Then he felt dirty and embarrassed. He shook his head and looked over at the rabbit and cow. Haru was a little stunned, but he hid it well. Momiji was jubilant as ever now that she was getting into the water. Kyo looked at her wide-eyed and he got a faint blush in his cheeks. He just couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked, good.

From the moment she started to get undressed Yuki could feel a bubbling sensation in his stomach. He couldn't help but feel nervous. Once she was finally undressed he felt a slight rush. Yep you guess it. He had a slight bulge below the equator. If ya know what I mean. And to add to his embarrassment, he was surrounded by people. Not just any people, but ones he knew. He had an erection and he was surrounded by kids he _knew_. It was bad. He made a break for the water and went in up to his chest.

"Yuki are sure you're okay?" Tohru asked feeling a little bad for him.

"Yeah I'm fine." He sweat dropped when he saw her. Another sensation passed him. "Could you get Hatori? Please?" He pleaded.

"Sure." She cried and ran out of the water to go get the doctor.

"Hatori, Yuki needs your help."

"Is he alright? Is his breathing ragged?" The over excitable doctor stood up and striped his shirt off and ran towards the water.

If you think the reaction for Yuki striping was funny wait till I explain this. Every head turned. Even the straight guys had different ideas about sexuality after they saw Hatori. His strong muscled chest was good looking, but his biceps and naturally good-looking features drove everyone mad. There was to be a new fan club soon.

"Yuki are you alright? Tohru said you needed my help." Hatori swam up to Yuki afraid for the worst.

"Um...Hatori... I have a slight... problem." He finished a blush growing on his cheeks.

"Well my dear cousin. Don't worry about a thing. Doctor Shigure is on the case." Shigure had followed Hatori when he heard his younger cousin was in trouble.

"I uh, well, I need...help" He winced at telling Shigure, but he needed _someone._ Tohru couldn't see him like this. Let alone Kyo. "I have um and..." He just couldn't finish.

It took a moment for the doctor and the pretend doctor to grasp the problem. When they did Shigure burst out laughing and Hatori tried miserably to suppress a grin. He laughed a little.

"Oh. _That_ kind of problem. Well I'm sorry, I can't help you there." Hatori said still laughing a little.

"Are you sure? There's nothing you can do?" Yuki pressed further.

"Well we _could cut it off.._" Shigure suggested.

"Are you nuts?" Yuki yelled.

"Shigure you're not helping." Hatori replied.

"I'll take that as a no." He said grumpily.

"All you can do is wait it out."

"How long will it last?"

"Depends on what it wants." Hatori felt a little weird talking about "it".

"How did you get this problem?" Shigure inquired.

"Ah..." Yuki turned red.

"Oh, why my little flower set this off. How could she-"Shigure was whacked over the head.

"..." Yuki couldn't say it.

"I bet I now know why you're sheets have been washed everyday for the past couplae now too..." Shigure said trailing off.

"Yuki, what's he talking about?" Hatori pressed.

"Uh, nothing."

"He has been having a few _wet_ nights." Shigure continued.

"Yuki?" Tohru asked coming up. "Are you alright? Maybe you should get out of the water and lie down."

"No I'm fine. I just needed to ask Hatori about a slight cramping I have."

"Maybe I should massage it for you."

The two older Sohma's burst out laughing. Yuki just wanted to drop in a hole and die.

"I don't think it's _that_ kind of cramp." Hatori said laughing.

"Okay. If you need anything just let me know." She flounced back over to a game of Marco polo her friends and her stared.

"Oh god. I'm dead." Yuki groaned.

"Well you could just ask her if you _do_ need it massaged." Shigure laughed.

"This is NOT funny." He practically yelled.

"Alright. Fine. Come on Hatori. He doesn't wasn't our help." Shigure walked away. Hatori thought for a second then got back out of the water.

Yuki was screwed. He couldn't do anything. He needed a male to help him. He was not going to call his brother and Haru might just kill him. Shigure and Hatori hadn't helped. Momiji would just laugh and go tell Tohru. That left Kyo. He hadn't sunk that low had he?

"Kyo! Can you come here?" Yuki called.

"What?" He called back annoyed.

"Just come here."

"Alright."

He came over and stared at the rat.

"I have a problem." He said and flicked his eyes downward.

"No way. Ha ha ha, that's just funny." He laughed.

"Yeah, for you. I need someone to hang with. Shigure and Hatori didn't help."

"Alright."

"Don't mention this ever."

"Alright."

"Promise?"

"Maybe."

"KYO!"

"Alright."

So they sat and waited in the water. Okay they didn't sit, but they waited in the water for Yuki's "friend" to go away. It took a long time. When it was done he went over and joined Tohru, but then she just had to ask.

"Is your cramp feeling better?" She looked worried.

"Yuki turned a nice shade of crimson and muttered, "Yes."

Kyo stared confused for a second and then burst out laughing.

"Did you massage? I know that always works."

Yuki was getting redder by the minute. Kyo couldn't breath he was laughing so hard.

"No I didn't massage it. It just...went away." He mumbled again.

"Oh good." She replied happily. "Do you want to play Marco polo?"

"Sure." He caught right on to the game.

And all was forgotten. Until Tohru was picked up and thrown into the water. Her entire goddess body was ripped from the water and it was wet. Kinda that wet sexy look from bay watch. Then "IT" came back. Unfortunately everyone who was playing saw.

Yuki will never forget _this_ class field trip.


	3. Kyo and Rubber

Embarrassing Moments for the Cursed and Friends

Kyo and Rubber

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and I never hope to, well, maybe a girl can hope._

_Kyo goes shopping with Shigure. What happens when the products Shigure want are a ?_

"Oh Kyo! Will you go shopping with me? I wanted to do Tohru a favor and help out around the house." Shigure called strolling into the room.

"Why can't you get that damn rat to go shopping with you? He would be better at it." Kyo called back.

"Oh Kyokinchi, I'm hurt. Do you not want to spend time with your dear older cousin who puts a roof over your head?" Shigure whined. "Although if it's too much trouble I guess I can just ask Tohru to do the shopping as usual. Although I feel a bit bad giving her extra work, what with exams coming up and all." Shigure finished hitting the spot.

"Fine, fine I'll go. Baka Inu." Kyo mumbled getting up. "I still don't see why you can't get Yuki to do this."

"The dear prince is going to pick Tohru up at work soon and I want the shopping done by then." Shigure commented calmly putting on his shoes.

"Right." Kyo said putting on his shoes.

So they were off. The cat and the dog. Fun combination is it not? Well, when you go shopping with Shigure, you just know things are bound to get.............. Dare I say it interesting.

Entering the store Shigure pulls out a list Tohru had "careless" left on the table. He squinted at her neat tiny handwriting. He pulls the paper up close before recognition dawned on his face. He grabbed a cart and whisked Kyo away to the fruit isle. He picked up bananas, peaches, pears, plums and lots of other stuff. Next was vegetables. Onions, carrots, lettuce, cabbage-

"-Leeks," Shigure grumbled to himself as he threw it in the basket.

"LEEKS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TRYING TO KILL ME?" Kyo shouted when he heard Shigure.

"It's on the list. I'm just getting what our dear little flower wants." Shigure said as if it was obvious.

"You liar." Kyo muttered annoyed.

They continued down the isles in silence and just throwing stuff in the cart. Suddenly Shigure stopped and grinned. It was the last item on the list. It was................Tampons.

"Hey Kyo, will get the last item. I need to get a few things my self." Shigure scrambled off before Kyo could object.

"Baka Inu." Kyo said looking at the list. "Tampons...........tampons. Now where have I heard of that?" He wondered aloud.

He shrugged and looked for them. He walked down the right isle and looked at the wrong shelf. Picked up the wrong item and bought it. When the clerk saw it, she looked at Kyo and made a disgusted face. She muttered something along the lines of ........."Kids". She rang him up and he left. He found Shigure sitting on the bench waiting for him.

"Ready?" He asks casually when he sees Kyo.

"Yep." Kyo replies and starts home..............fast.

"Tohru! We're home! We did the shopping!" Kyo called.

"Oh no! I hope it wasn't any trouble. I could've done it!" Tohru panicked.

"It was no trouble at all, my dear little flower." Shigure said before getting whacked on the head.

Tohru forced a guilty smile and began to unpack the groceries. She got to the last bag and found what Kyo had bought. It wasn't Tampons. It wasn't even for girls. It was a box Her eyes were as big as half-dollars while she stood there staring at the box in her hand. Her face was slowly turning redder by the second. By the time Yuki had wondered into the kitchen it was a tomato.

"Miss Honda? Are you alright?" He asked seeing her face.

"Um, yes, I-I-I'm fine." She stuttered.

"What's that?" He asked seeing the box in her hand.

"U-u-um It's um, well, K-K-Kyo and Shigure went shopping for me and Kyo got the wrong.......thing." She stuttered.

"What'd he get you?" Yuki asked cautiously.

She couldn't say it so she held out the box.

"Uh............." Yuki took it from her and Shigure walked in.

"My, my, I can't tolerate this n my house." He said with a grin.

"_Shigure. _I did not get these. Kyo messed up and got Tohru these instead of.....what did he forget." Yuki asked.

"................." Tohru turned even redder. "_Tampons. _Well they do look alike. They're also in the same isle. I see how he can get confused."

Kyo walked in and saw Tohru holding Condoms Yuki holding the other side, and Shigure grinning from ear to ear.

"Why does Tohru have......................gulp Condoms?" Kyo asked confused.

"_BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM TO HER. BAKA NEKO." _Yuki growled.

"I did? I thought I grabbed **another gulp** tamp-tampons." Kyo said looking down.

"Well, you missed." Yuki said again.

"Well I'm sorry." Kyo yelled and grabbed the box, or at least tried. When he got a hand on it, Hatori, Haru, Momiji and Kisa walked in. SO Kyo, Yuki and Tohru were holding a box of Condoms for the world to see. And see they did.

".............Yuki..............Kyo..................Tohru..................." Hatori said confused and not really wanting to know.

"Sissy? What's that?" Kisa piped up from the back round.

"Yuki?" Haru asked.

"Tohru?" Momiji said.

"Uh.........There is a really, _really, _good explanation for all of this." Tohru said, still not dropping the box. "Kyo picked this up instead of my...............product and well................"

"Say no more." Hatori said, stepping forward to grab the box. He slipped it n his coat and began to walk towards the table.

"Hatori, why do you need.....those?" Shigure said grinning.

"Sit down and enjoy my company Shigure, before I change my mind and leave."

"Alright." Shigure said sitting down.

"Dinner'll be ready soon." Tohru said and rushed for the kitchen.

"So, Kyo you messed up?" Haru said grinning. "Sure you weren't planning anything. I might have to tell Kagura if you were.' He said grinning.

Kyo turned red and stuttered some random objection be fore going to the roof.

"Poor, poor cat. Always being picked on." Shigure said shaking his head.

Hope y'all liked! I worked hard! Anyway, R&R and the next one'll be out sooner! You can also send me idea's. Don't worry I'll credit them to you too. I won't steal it. I'll borrow it.


	4. Hatori and HIs Twisted Tongue

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and never ever, ever, ever will, dang.

Aura Black Chan, I kind of got this idea from you, but it's a bit different, so some credit goes to her.

Hatori is the family doctor, therefore he has, doctorly duties. They include explaining puberty. What will happen when he has to explain to Kisa when she gets "it" for the first time?

Hatori and his Twisted Tongue

Hatori was just sitting in his office ding his doctor stuff when the energetic bunny bounced in followed by Kisa. He looked up at the pair and raised an eyebrow.

"Hatori, Kisa wants to invite Tohru over for a sleepover on Saturday night. Can she? Please, please, please." Momiji whines.

"Please, I want sissy to come over and sleepover." Kisa said in her little girly way.

Hatori looked from the innocent face of Kisa to the energetic face of the rabbit. He sighed and thought. _Would it be okay for Tohru to stay here? What if Akito finds out and objects. What would he do? Oh well, I can't deny them what they want. I'm afraid to make them cry. Would Momiji really cry?_

"Alright, Tohru may stay here Saturday night." Hatori finally resolved.

"YAY!" The two younger Sohma's shouted.

"Hi. Is sissy there?" Kisa asked Shigure over the phone.

"Why yes she is. Wait one moment." He said before calling the brunette. "You have a phone call."

"Okay." She replied and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Sissy?"

"Kisa? Hi! How are you?"

"I'm good. I wanted to know if you could come for a sleepover on Saturday night."

"Hang on, let me ask." She put down the phone and ran over to the kitchen where everyone was sitting eating dinner, well, they were waiting to eat dinner.

"Shigure, is it alright if I sleepover at Kisa's Saturday night? She's on the phone."

Shigure's features darkened a tad and Yuki felt a jolt in his chest. He couldn't let her sleepover at the main house could he? Shigure was just about to answer when Yuki stepped in.

"At the main house?"

"Um... Yes. That's not a problem is it? I'm sure she could stay over here if it is." Tohru quickly said.

"I don't see a problem why you shouldn't spend the night with Kisa. At the main house OR here is fine." Shigure said looking over at Yuki.

"Great!"

Tohru ran back to the phone and told Kisa.

"I can come over and spend the night."

"Really? Great! See you Saturday sissy." Kisa said and hung up.

Tohru went back to the table.

(I know this is all Kisa/Tohru right now, but it IS Hatori's horrifying moment. In fact here he is now.)

Hatori was looking over his files and realized that Kisa hadn't started her period yet. He counted up her age and got 13. Why hadn't she started yet? Odd, oh well. Not his problem.................yet.

"I wonder when it'll happen? I can't believe I just meant that." He said shaking his head. "I'm getting to close to these kids."

"Yet, not close enough to ME!" Ayame cried running in.

"What do YOU want?" Hatori said feeling a headache coming on.

"Well, I was just feeling sick this morning and I wondered who could make me feel better. Who better then a doctor and a friend, right?"

"Oh god." He said rolling his eyes.

"What?" Ayame said pouting.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't feel good."

"Well, I got that. How don't you feel well?"

"My head and tummy hurt."

Hatori raised an eyebrow and went over to feel Ayame's head. Sure enough there was a slight fever. He shook his head at his misfortune and went over to his medicine cabinet. He pulled out a cold medicine and gave it to the snake.

"Take one of these every two hours and you'll feel better."

"Why my dear Tori-san, are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Yes. Now get out."

"Alright. Whatever Tori-san wants I shall give him."

(Fast forward to Saturday.)

Tohru arrives and Hatori opens the door. He ushers over to his house and opens the door.

"Hatori, why am I here? I thought I was spending the night with Kisa." A worried Tohru said.

"You are. At my house."

"Oh, okay." She said brightening up.

"Sissy!"

"Tohru!"

"Hey guys!"

They all went inside leaving Hatori outside his own home. He shook his head and walked in. he set about doing his work again.

He fell asleep, only to be awakened by a large scream and a "OH MY GOD! KISA'S DYING!"

He jerked up and ran towards the room where Momiji was screaming Kisa was standing with tears in her eyes and a large blood on her bed. Tohru was nowhere to be seen.

"What happened!" Hatori demanded, rounding on Momiji.

"Kisa stood up and I saw her blood on the bed and I think she's dying." He said tears coursing down his face now.

"Kisa, does it hurt?" Hatori asked getting an idea of what it might be.

"No."

"Okay, then she's not dying. I know exactly what's wrong." _And now I have to explain it to her._

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Kisa just started her.........period." He finished wincing.

"Her what?" Momiji asked confused.

"Never mind Momiji. Why don't you go back to your house and I'll help Kisa feel better." _Sorta._

He looked upset, but left just the same. Hatori went into his office and grabbed Kisa a pad and handed it to her.

"What do I do with it?" She asked with big, round scared eyes.

His heart almost stopped. He now had to explain what to do with the pad? Great, this is gonna be fun. Where was Tohru when you needed her? Oh well, if he can do this for the other members he can do this for her. He hoped.

"You put it in your underwear like this." He grabbed a pair of hers of the pile of laundry and showed her.

He proceeded to explain all of this, which I will spare you, because I'm not sure you really want to hear it all. When he was done she looked as though she might cry. He felt his heart sink and asked why god was so cruel. She was only young. Then again that was hen it happened to young girls. Again he wished for Tohru. Or at least Kisa's mother.

"It's alright Kisa. You'll be fine. It only happens once a month." He said pulling her into a hug. She sat there sobbing into his shirt and he heard the door open to a stunned Shigure and Ayame. They looked at him and grinned.

_Why me? I just wanted to get through this without incident. Why do they always show up when not needed?_

"My dear Tori-san, you are so good at female organs." Ayame said grinning.

"Kisa, why don't you go find Tohru and tell her the news." Hatori said pulling away room Kisa.

"Okay." She said still in tears.

"Will you two just shut up? It's no big deal." Hatori sighed. "It's part of being a doctor."

"Hey did you know that the male seahorse carries the baby. Does that mean you get periods?" Shigure asked getting into a playful state.

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!!!!" He screamed at the dog turning red, and I mean bright red.

"Oh Tori-san is blushing! Tori-san is blushing! Then it must be true!" Ayame screamed prancing around the room.

"I do not get PERIODS!" He screamed as the door opened. Tohru, Kisa, Yuki, Kyo, Momiji, Haru and a servant walked in. Hatori's eyes got big and he almost cried.

"Um..................."

He stood there red as a ripe tomato ad wishing he could die. Now everyone was going to think he was a girl. Hee hee hee hee, poor poor Ha'ri. He shook his head and walked out. Leaving a very confused gathering of people.

"Why me?" HE asked when he got to his room.

A knock sounded on the door and in walked a blushing Tohru.

"Hatori? I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it." She said standing just inside the door.

"Huh?" Talk? No one ever cared about HIM before. She always knew just what to say.

So they talked and he felt a lot better afterward. Then she laughed and he blushed again.

"I'm sorry, Hatori, but it's just so funny!" She said between giggles.

"I guess it is." He said laughing too.

"My my, what is this?" Shigure said coming to the door.


	5. Shigure, Mistletoe and Miichan

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and never ever, ever, ever will dang.

Chapter 5: Shigure, Mistletoe and Mii-chan

So right now it's Christmas time and you know what kind of decorations we hang up at Christmas time. Mistletoe, at Shigure's house.

Tohru was running around the house at that very moment putting up decorations and singing Christmas carols. She was in such a frenzy that she hung mistletoe over every doorway. Yes, I mean _every_ doorway. Shigure's office, Kyo's room, the bathroom, kitchen, entrance and Shigure's office door. She hung up lights and even felt compelled to put reindeer on the roof, but didn't follow through on that because she thought Kyo might not like that. She looked around the house and smiled. Christmas screamed out from all corners. Stockings were hung over the fireplace and Christmas carols softly played. Lights danced in her eyes and presents gleamed under the tree.

"Done! I'm finally done!" She sighed looking at her handy work.

"What are you finally done with?" Yuki asked coming in the door. His vision blocked by a stack of books he had in his arms.

"The decorations silly. I've just finished putting them up."

Yuki looked around and almost passed out from all the Christmas cheer. "You remind me of that one American woman, Martha Stewart." He said smiling.

"Oh never compare my dear flower to that dreadful woman. She's much to precious." Shigure said coming into the twinkling room.

"Shigure-san! You're home! Are you hungry?"

"No, but I have a surprise. My editor has chained herself to me and will not let me leave her sight until I finish my book. So, she's here for Christmas!"

"Doesn't that mean we'll need an extra room."

"I don't think the chain is _that_ long Tohru-kun." Yuki said looking at the bondage.

"Oh, then shall I get another bed prepared? Oh, and I'll need to make extras for dinner! And I'll need to remake the room arrangements." Tohru started.

"Tohru why do you need to redo the room arrangements?" Shigure asked confused.

"Because when everyone sleeps over tonight I had you with Ayame and Hatori-san, but now that you'll be sleeping with Mii-chan you can't have more men in that room. I'll just have to have Kyo, Yuki, Haru, Momiji and Hiro sharing a room and Hatori and Ayame can have the extra. Then Kisa and Kagura sleep with me in my room. Oh that works great!" Tohru squealed. She hadn't noticed a faint blush that had crept up in Shigure's face. He forgot he would be sleeping in the same room as Mii-chan.

"So, I'll go start dinner!" She said starting off to the kitchen.

"Let me help you!" Mii-chan squeaked in delight. "It's the least I can do since I came here unannounced." She said following Tohru into the kitchen.

"Well, if you don't mind, could you start chopping the vegetables." Tohru said pointing to the counter.

So the two maidens started brewing and talking like old buddies, with Shigure chained and sulking. He had planned to relax and _maybe_ start/ finish his book. No he was stuck with Pollyanna and Betty Crocker. He made faces and glared, but it didn't work. So, he thought about how they would manage sleeping tonight. Would they share a bed? The thought of that made even more blush creep into his pale cheeks. His editor was a special person. He enjoyed torturing her, but what would happen tonight. Now he had a full-on red face and the beginning of a hard-on. He grimaced and squished his legs together tightly.

"Shigure-san are you okay? Can you still write?" Mii-chan said noticing his tight and uncomfortable position.

"I'm fine." He said with sweat rolling down his face. She was so close.

"Okay." And she went back to work. She left him there growing bigger.

Finally the dinner was all in the oven and he could go sit and relax. He went for the couch dragging 122 pounds of flesh with him on his right hand. That's how Kyo found them, sitting there, like a happy couple. Reading the newspaper and drinking tea. He raised his eyebrows and grimaced. Unfortunately he didn't have much time to dawdle over that because Tohru came out to tell him about the new plan for sleeping.

"I HAVE TO DO WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted once she stated the plan.

"I'm sorry Kyo, but when I heard that she was staying the night I couldn't let her share a room with two other men. I felt bad for her so I had to give Hatori and Ayame your room. I'm really sorry. Really I am, but that's how it is." She said about to cry. He looked at her and almost whacked something. He couldn't say no to that face.

"It's alright, as long as it's only for one night." He gave in.

She smiled again and went to check on the food. Just as the doorbell rang. She rushed to it forgetting the food. She found Momiji, Hatori, Haru, Ayame, Kisa and Hiro all staring at her warmly, well; most of them were staring warmly. Some were glaring and some were looking over her shoulder.

"Okay, where's Kagura?" Tohru asked worried.

"Oh, she should be coming up soon, ah, there she is." Hatori said looking out the door.

Kagura had come up to the door with an armload of presents and she looked as if she might fall over. Tohru quickly reached for them and took a stack off the top.

"Let me help."

"Thanks Tohru!"

"No problem."

"Gure-san, you haven't been with anyone else since we were away, have you?" Ayame asked.

"How could I do such a thing to you my dear sweet Aya." He commented coming up to him.

"All Right!" They shouted together, thumbs up and smiles on. It was only too late before Aya realized that someone was following Shigure around.

"Gure-san, who is this?" He said eyeing the lady evilly.

"This is my editor Mii-chan." He said. "She's staying with us for Christmas."

"Why?"

"She cuffed herself to me. She didn't want me to get away while I had to finish my book." HE explained going red all over again.

"Shigure's got the hots! Shigure's got the hots!" Momiji came in and seeing Shigure's red face.

"I do not have the HOTS!" He yelled unusually meanly and stormed off to his office.

When they heard his voice they had all looked up and peered over at the entrance. They saw Shigure's retreating back and a helpless Mii-chan being dragged along. Tohru looked worried and she was so close to going after him. Ayame looked annoyed and Hatori looked taken aback. Momiji looked upset and was supporting a quivering lip. Haru looked bored and Hiro and Kisa were looking around for a break in the crowd.

"What was that about?" Yuki asked confused. Kyo looked over his shoulder not seeming to interested, but secretly he wanted to know what had made the older cousin shout like that.

"Oh nothing."

Everyone looked around like, yeah sure sparky. Soon people were milling around and waiting for Shigure to come back so they could open presents and eat. After a while of self-reflection and healthy denial, he came out. And stood directly under the mistletoe, with Mii-chan right next to him. His face turned red and his palms began to sweat. He quickly hurried forward and was caught by Haru.

"Shigure, you know the rules, when you're caught under mistletoe, you have to kiss the person with you." Which explains why he stood next to Yuki constantly.

"No way." He said shaking his head and growing red on his face and just "growing" in other places.

"You have to. It's a rule."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too, is too, is TOO!"

"Just do it Shigure so the little brat will shut up." Kyo groaned. Looking at the presents and smelling dinner.

Shigure turned toward Mii-chan and grimaced. She looked back disgusted. They looked at he room full of people and sighed. Turning back to each other they bent towards each other. Shigure going down a bit and Mii-chan going up a tiny bit. They kissed and didn't let go. They well, got "into it" and stood there kissing until Momiji yelled out for them to take a breathing break.

Looking at each other they blushed madly and Shigure throbbed "down there". He blushed even more and tried to go off into his room to lie down, but he realized that she would be there too. He sighed and sat down on the couch and curled up and hoped to die.

Unfortunately when he arose a few minutes later he was still in a room full of mocking cousins and they were all laughing at him.

"Shut up and leave me alone!" He shouted for the second time that day.

"You won't get far to threaten us when we know you have such emotion." Someone cracked from the wall and everyone got laughing again.

HE stormed out of the room and went into the kitchen. He grabbed his plate of food and dragged Mii-chan back out onto the living room where he sat down to eat. Soon after that they opened presents. The last present to be opened was a gift for Shigure. He took it and began to shred the paper. He stopped when it was only partly opened and then he turned red all over again and he dropped the present.

"What is it?" Tohru asked trying to look closer. He tried to get it out of her way, but Momiji grabbed it and looked at it. He smiled and giggled. HE unwrapped it for the world to see.

It was a box of condoms. Everyone laughed and began punching fun at him again.

"Well, at least you're prepared."

"Wow, maybe I should take notes. I wonder if she knows about his "pet dog." "

"I DO NOT LIKE MII-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled standing up.

"You don't like me?" She asked beginning to tear up.

"It's not that it's just that...well, I... Oh never mind." HE said giving up and sulking in his chair.

R&R and I hope you don't mind the delay in this chapter. I had the Halloween idea and then I got caught up in that one.


	6. Ayame Talks

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and never ever, ever, ever will dang.

Chapter 6: Ayame talks

This would have been up sooner, but my computer and fanfiction weren't working together. Sorry if it's a bit late.

This is a little OOC, but I think it works. Instead of the usual present time, this one was based when Yuki was 13 and his brother, Ayame, had to give 'the talk' to him. This is Ayame's moment so look closely now………..

"Ayame, where do babies come from?"

After spitting his drink out and coming down off the ceiling, Ayame looked at his younger brother in surprise.

"Why would you ask that?"

"I just want to know. Mommy won't tell me and dad looked at me funny. So, I came to you."

Ayame's eyes softened for a moment before they filled with fear. How was he going to do this? He couldn't just come right out and say it. He had to start at the beginning. This was going to be a long night.

"Well, it all starts when a woman gets her period. She is then able to have children. A young boy is actually physically possible to impregnate a woman when he is quite young, but that doesn't mean you should. A woman gets her period around the time when she is 11-15. They can come at anytime and once the girl gets her first, she's stuck with it for life."

"What's a period? Like the ones at the end of a sentence?"

"No, the ones that girls get are a bit different. They come once a month and for only about 5-7 days. It is a time when woman lose the blood from their womb, thing, because they haven't been impregnated. It doesn't hurt them, but it is quite annoying." Ayame is getting redder by the minute trying to do this.

To his knowledge he is alone with his brother too. But he was wrong; Shigure and Hatori are sitting in the other room smiling widely at each other. They had been there since the beginning. They had in fact asked the younger boy to go ask his brother to explain the miracle of life. They were taping it and it was going to be great when it was done.

"Where does all of the blood come from?"

Ayame's face was flaming by now, but he continued. "It comes from her bloodstream. Since the girl carries the baby, unless you're a seahorse, she ha to give it blood. So, when the blood is flowing through her body, she-"

"Ayame! My mommy sent me over here to learn about this stuff too." Momiji said coming in.

"Mine too, don't know why though." Haru said coming in.

Hatori and Shigure almost lost it and lost their cover. They were rolling around on the floor with silent laughter. The tape was still going though, so they didn't miss anything.

"Do you need me to start over?" Ayame asked red in the face at so many audience members.

"Nope, I can get it from here." Haru answered.

"I'm fine." Momiji said grinning.

"Good." He said. "Well, I was just saying-"

"Yeah, yeah. We heard you. Just start where you have sex and stuff."

"Right. Um, well, after a while when you're older and probably married, you'll probably become so close, you'll want to-ah-well-have………um………that is………….you'll……ah………want to do it." He finished lamely.

"I don't get it. What is it?" Momiji asked confused.

Ayame was almost dying by now, but he had to continue. Parents were counting on him. Well, not really, but he thought they were. "You'll most likely have it in your best interest to use a condom until you want a child. You just put the condom on your……………….. (insert word). After you do that, no little men can come out. They can't enter the woman and eat their way into her eggs. If one does escape she will become pregnant, unless she takes a pill. So, that's about it." He finished sweating.

"So, there's no stork?" Momiji asked almost crying.

"Nope, sorry, no stork."

So, the boys left with pictures of many sperm coming towards an egg and they each had a condom. Momiji blew his up in a balloon and played with it. Yuki looked at it and stuffed it in his drawer, at the bottom. Haru tucked his in his wallet. Twelve year-old with a condom.

So many years later Hatori was trying to explain the facts of life to Kisa and Hiro. It wasn't cool. It was funny, but not good.

He picked up a flower. "This is a flower right? Well, every woman has a garden. A garden needs a big hose to water or a small hose as long as it works, once in a while a man will take his hose and water the woman's garden." Hatori tried explaining. (Do you guys get it? I hope so. When I saw this in Now and Then I died laughing. It was so funny.)

"I don't get it. Kisa's supposed to have a garden?" Hiro asked confused.

"Ah.."

"Tori-san, why don't we use the tape we made a few years ago. Ayame explains it well." Shigure said coming in the door.

"That's a great idea." Hatori said going over to his cabinet and getting it out.

They put it in and turned off the lights. And so it started. Little did those four know, they had visitors. Yuki, Kyo came in with Tohru. They just sat and watched the movie in stunned silence. Yuki was getting redder by the minute and Kyo was looking back and forth between Yuki and the movie horrified. Tohru was blushing drastically.

"Well, it all starts when a woman gets her period. She is then able to have children. A young boy is actually physically possible to impregnate a woman when he is quite young, but that doesn't mean you should. A woman gets her period around the time when she is 11-15. They can come at anytime and once the girl gets her first, she's stuck with it for life."

"What's a period? Like the ones at the end of a sentence?" (Everyone busts out laughing and Yuki wants to die. He was so stupid. We still love him though.)

"No, the ones that girls get are a bit different. They come once a month and for only about 5-7 days. It is a time when woman lose the blood from their womb, thing, because they haven't been impregnated. It doesn't hurt them, but it is quite annoying." Ayame is getting redder by the minute trying to do this.

"Hatori! I came to see-" Ayame cried walking in. He stopped short when he heard and saw the tape. His face got red as he remembered the humiliation. "STOP THE TAPE! STOP THE TAPE!" He screamed.

"Sorry, but don't worry it's almost done now." Hatori said waving him off.

Ayame was acting like Tohru. He was waving his warms like he was trying to fly. He was in such panic he was almost fainting. It was bad enough for him to have explained it to his brother and Haru and Momiji, let alone these two. He died and came back. Wanting to crawl in a hole and die, he sat down on the floor almost crying.

"That's where babies come from." Hatori said turning on the lights when it was over. He was smiling widely.

"Oh, so, the "hose" you were talking about was really my-" Hiro started

"Okay, that's enough you two. Go run along and play."

"Oh we will." Hiro said devilishly.

The three sweat dropped and watched them leave. Ayame turned to the other two grinning men. He was beet red and really angry. But before he could say anything, Kyo spoke up.

"So, there really is no stork. Damn I liked that idea better." Kyo said, sending everyone into hysterics.

Ayame was seething now and steam was practically coming from his ears. "STOP IT! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Of course it is!" Shigure said still laughing.

"That was humiliating! I can't believe you TAPED that!"

"Taped it? We set it up! It was so funny to see your face when Yuki came in and asked you where babies came from." Shigure said crying he was laughing so hard.

"YOU DID THAT AS A JOKE!" He screamed. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

"It was quite easy. You really did fall for it." Hatori said laughing lightly.

"I still can't believe you did that. You also had the nerve to show it to people!"

"What do you think we made it for? Entertainment? Although it IS funny!"

"IT IS NOT FUNNY!"

Everyone is almost rolling on the ground laughing. Ayame just stands there outraged.

"One question Ayame, how do you know so much about that subject? I can't remember you ever being in class during health." Hatori stated.

"He had first hand experience." Shigure replied laughing again.

Everyone sweat dropped and laughed. Ayame was getting more embarrassed as the time went by. He was so red now you could see the steam emitting from his ears.

"And you people wonder why I disowned my brother years ago." Yuki stated calmly shaking his head.

After everyone calmed down a bit they all left. Shigure and Hatori were still grinning at Ayame when they were alone.

"I hate you two." He stated before leaving too.

"We love you too! Aya-san!" Shigure called out the door.


End file.
